Dear Little One,
You are so small, and so utterly dependent on us. Me, in particular. I am sorry that I spend so much time complaining, to myself, to you and to others about what a challenge you are. You are you, and I love you entirely for it.
I love your cuddliness - the way you toddle up to me (or Little R, or Rachel), demanding a "duddle", with your arms outspread. I love how you tuck you chin over my shoulder and wrap your arms around my neck, trying to melt into my body. We are still two halves of the same whole.
I love your determination - you have such firm ideas about what you want to do, and you communicate so clearly with us, signing, speaking and pointing until we understand. I understand your frustration when you are not allowed. You run off your fury, charging away and growling your crossness. Sometimes you stamp furiously on the spot. That absolute single-mindedness will be such a strength and I'm proud to see it.
I love your playfulness - you love playing peekaboo around the door, chasing Little R, tickling us, bouncing on your trampoline, splashing in the paddling pool, exploring the woods, and following Little R and his friends around, watching attentively and then joining in their games.
I love your caring nature - whenever Little R is hurt or sad you stop what you're doing and come to help. You peer into his face, making curious noises to try to work out what the problem is. You pat his head, giggle in his face to cheer him up and "duddle" him until he stops crying and starts laughing and playing with you. You can cheer him up much faster than I can. He adores you.
I love your movements - you are so non-stop you've perfected walking (although you still stagger like a drunkard sometimes) and you can walk backwards and even run a little. You loved being in the water at Centre Parcs because you could hold onto the side and jump under the water. You'd love to be able to really properly jump on your trampoline and I think you'll be doing it before two. You can climb up stairs, but not down them yet. You can climb onto the sofa and slide off carefully. You are agile and quick.
I love your talking. I've been keeping a list of all the words you can say and/or sign and it's being added to every day. It's so exciting to have conversations with you and you try so hard to make us understand.
Mummy - "Mimmy"
Little R - "Ra-Ra"
Trees - sign and "tees"
Keys - point and "dees"
Bird - sign and "burr"
Duck - bird sign and "duck" - you genuinely perfected this word at Centre Parcs. Your most accurate pronunciation.
Cow - "moo"
Sheep - "baa"
Dog - sign and "dok", then you try to woof
Door - "doooor"
Milk - "diddy"
Shh - with a cute finger to your mouth
Shoes - "sh-ss"
Finished - sign and "ish"
Mine - thumps chest and "miy" or "mine"
Tickle - action and "di di di"
Giraffe - "dirah"
Row your boat - "ro ro ro" with action and sound effects for the lion "rah", the bear "brrr", the mouse "eek" and the crocodile "aaah!"
Ball - sign and "baaaw". Often coupled with...
...Where - sign and "wair?"
Cuddle - arms out and "duddle!"
Yes - "yesh" or "yah yah yah!"
No - "noooo" or "nah nah nah"
This - "dis", often with a point. You sometimes say "dese". It's either PLEASE or THESE. Surely you don't understand plurals yet?!
Bell - sign and "ding"
Apple - "bubble" - but you've said it many times while pointing at Little R's apple. It must be shared.
Pull - "bull" - while tugging at your highchair straps when you're finished.
Bee - sign and "zzzzzz"
Again - sign and "den!"
Swing - "wee" or "wing"
Slide - "weee"
Wee - "wee-wee" You're even starting to say WHEN you need a wee. But since you only wee standing up, we've had no success with a toilet or potty.
Elephant - sign and sound effect "wooo"
I love all of your characteristics.Yes, it'd be easier if you would cry less and more quietly, tantrum less often and sleep in your cot (a trick that you forgot how to do a few weeks ago), but you are YOU, from the tips of your nimble toes to the top of your busy busy brain. Always be you, Little One. Be the best version of you that you can be, but be YOU. You're making me a better version of myself. Or at least, that's what I hope. I'm having to dig deeper and deeper inside myself and find new levels of patience and grace. Sometimes I fail, and then I feel crushed and frustrated that I am not the Mummy you need and deserve. But I'm so much better than I was before you. You're taking me on the most challenging and rewarding journey of my life.
I love you, baby girl,
From Mimmy